Domestic violence should not happen to anybody. Ever. Period. But it does – and when it does, there is help. Maybe you have lived with abuse, maybe it happened just once; maybe you work or live next to someone who is being abused right now. If you are a victim of Domestic Violence there is help out there.
If you or someone you know has been the victim of a sexual assault, please call the Swansea Police Department at 508-674-8464.
Domestic violence is a pattern of behavior used to maintain power and control over an intimate partner or family member. For definitions of Domestic Violence under Massachusetts 209A law, click here. The means of control include physical, sexual, emotional and economic abuse, threats and isolation. Survivors face many obstacles in trying to end the abuse in their lives although most are able to, psychological and economic entrapment, physical isolation and lack of social support, religious and cultural values, fear of social judgment, threats and intimidation over custody or separation, immigration status or disabilities and lack of viable alternatives. Increased public, legal and healthcare awareness and improved community resources enable survivors to rebuild their lives.
Domestic violence occurs in every culture, country and age group. It affects people from all socioeconomic, educational and religious backgrounds and takes place in same sex as well as heterosexual relationships. Women with fewer resources or greater perceived vulnerability—girls and those experiencing physical or psychiatric disabilities or living below the poverty line—are at even greater risk for domestic violence and lifetime abuse. Children are also affected by domestic violence, even if they do not witness it directly.
Abusers use many ways to isolate, intimidate and control their partners. It starts insidiously and may be difficult to recognize. Early on, your partner may seem attentive, generous and protective in ways that later turn out to be frightening and controlling. Initially the abuse is isolated incidents for which your partner expresses remorse and promises never to do again or rationalizes as being due to stress or caused by something you did or didn’t do.
- Quick whirlwind romance.
- Wanting to be with you all the time; tracking what you’re doing and who you’re with.
- Jealousy at any perceived attention to or from others.
- Attempts to isolate you in the guise of loving behavior (You don’t need to work or go to school; we only need each other, criticizing friends/family for not caring about you).
- Hypersensitivity to perceived slights.
- Quick to blame others for the abuse.
- Pressures you into doing things you aren’t comfortable with (If you really love me, you’ll do this for me).
- Are you ever afraid of your partner?
- Has your partner ever actually hurt or threatened to hurt you physically or someone you care about?
- Does your partner ever force you to engage in sexual activities that make you uncomfortable?
- Do you constantly worry about your partner's moods and change your behavior to deal with them?
- Does your partner try to control where you go, what you do and who you see?
- Does your partner constantly accuse you of having affairs?
- Have you stopped seeing family or friends to avoid your partner’s jealousy or anger?
- Does your partner control your finances?
- Does he/she threaten to kill him/herself if you leave?
- Does your partner claim his/her temper is out of control due to alcohol, drugs or because he/she had an abusive childhood?
If you answer “Yes” to some or all of these questions, you could be suffering abuse. Remember you are not to blame and you need not face domestic violence alone.
While you cannot stop your partner’s abuse—only he or she can do that—you can find help and support for yourself.
- Call the police if you are in danger.
- Talk with someone you trust: a friend or relative, a neighbor, coworker or religious or spiritual advisor.
- Tell your physician, nurse, psychiatrist or therapist about the abuse.
- Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline [1-800-799-SAFE (7233)], your state domestic violence coalition, and/or a local domestic violence agency.
- Remember, you know your situation better than anyone else. Don’t let someone talk you into doing something that isn’t right for you.